Neutral

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INT. BATHROOM - DAY

LEON stands at a urinal, his back to us. After a moment, PENNY walks in. She sees Leon peeing and quickly turns away, bright red.

PENNY
Oh my god, I am so sorry. I could have sworn--

She walks back toward the door.

LEON
You’re fine. It’s a gender-neutral bathroom. 

PENNY
Oh. That’s... progressive.

LEON
I think you mean “weird.”

He flushes and washes his hands, making eye contact with Penny on the way to the sink. Penny watches him, curious.

LEON (CONT’D)
You know, staring doesn’t make it less weird.

PENNY
Leon?

LEON
Yeah.

PENNY
It’s Penny.

LEON
Hey! Yeah.

He smiles and dries his hands. A beat.

PENNY
You don’t remember me.

LEON
Sure I do.
(then)
But remind me how we met?

PENNY
Mmm, I don’t think so.

LEON
What, are you gonna make me guess?

Penny draws a little closer and shrugs, flirty.

LEON (CONT’D)
Alright. Tinder?

PENNY
No.

LEON
OKCupid.

PENNY
No.

LEON
Match.

PENNY
Nope.

LEON
Bumble?

PENNY
Nay.

LEON
Wait, do you work here?

PENNY
No, I’m interviewing.

LEON
Nice. Okay. Coffee Meets Bagel?

PENNY
Uh-uh.

LEON
Christian Mingle.

PENNY
Christ, no.

LEON
J-Date?

PENNY
Really?

LEON
Black People Meet.
(then)
... is a site I don’t have an account on.

Penny brings her face very close to his. Leon’s into it.

PENNY
Think educational.

LEON
Ooh. A Stanford girl?

PENNY
No.

LEON
Harvard?

PENNY
Showoff.

LEON
... kindergarten?

Penny turns Leon around and pins him against the wall.

LEON (CONT’D)
Holy shit. High school. Sophomore year, under the bleachers.

PENNY
Now he remembers.

LEON
I can’t believe I forgot.

They are just about to go at it when Penny stops.

PENNY
Shit. Shit shit shit.

She breaks away from Leon.

LEON
What? You’re not married are you? Please don’t be married, I can’t do that twice in a month.

PENNY
No, it’s just I have this interview, and I shouldn’t...

She goes to the mirror, fixes her hair, pats her face.

LEON
Right. Who’s it with, Justin? Lyle? Good luck if it’s Lyle, dude’s a prick.

PENNY
It’s with the board, actually.

LEON
I didn’t think the board got involved in hiring coders.

Penny scoffs.

PENNY
I’m not a coder. 

LEON
No?

PENNY
Do you see Dorito crumbs on my pants? I’m a money gal.

LEON
Oh, like a VC, or...?

PENNY
You’re cute. Apparently you guys have a real deadbeat for a CFO, so the board’s interviewing replacements.

LEON
Huh.

Beat.

PENNY
You’re the-- great.

LEON
(simultaneously)
I’m-- yeah.

Long, awkward beat.

LEON
Board’s a bunch of dicks, don’t like waiting, so.

He goes for the door.

PENNY
I don’t have to go.

LEON
Sure.

PENNY
I have other interviews.

Leon stops. Penny walks right up to him.

PENNY (CONT’D)
And I bet you’re more fun than that bunch of dicks in the conference room.

LEON
Are we getting a drink?

PENNY
Nope.

She flicks off the lights...

END